Why do we wait all of our lives to grow up and we finally get there and it turns out to be nothing like we dreamed of??
It is so full of hurts, disappointments, stress, huge decisions, but there are some happy times too, kids, freedom, finding yourself and getting to be who you REALLY are, not who everybody thinks you have to be.
I guess sometimes I wish I could go back to being a kid, I would do things alot differently. First of all there are some decisions from my high school years I would never have made, there are also some I didn't make that I would now. I would have enjoyed my whole life so much more and realized that just because someone was mad at me or I was mad at them it wasn't the end of the world. That wasn't the worst tragedy ever! All those things that were so devastating to me as a kid and a teen, weren't so bad. My life has been good if I truely sit back and think about it, even in the tough times, God has always come through with something good in the end. I am trying to believe he will one more time, but I am struggling!
Thursday, March 20, 2008
Tuesday, March 04, 2008
sad!
I am trying to prepare myself to go to a funeral tomorrow, but I don't think it's possible. What do I say? My mom's cousin died at the age of 52. It is such a shock. He was so healthy and athletic, and so full of life. Always happy and one of the neatest and funnest guys to ever be around. He, of course, has 3 children of his own with his wife and they had 3 girls they had adopted from china. How his wife and children must be hurting, how shocked they must be!
He started with a cough 4 days ago, couldn't get rid of it and went to the doctor, they told him he had bronchitis and put him on antibiotics. The next day he was feeling a little worse and called the dr and they said oh you probably have the flu too. So the next day came, he was feeling worse and the took him to the ER, they said oh, you have a touch of pnuemonia. So they hospitalized him and he just kept going down hill and then within 24 hrs had passed away. Now they are saying he had a bacterieal infection. I can't hardly believe it. What are these diseases going around and what is the deal? This is a guy who got up early every morning to run 5 miles before work, he had a workout room in his basement that he used often and had a membership to the gym that he visited at least 3 times a week, he ate healthy and was such a happy person, how could someone like him die so suddenly, I mean his body should have been healthy enough to fight it off. And he has a wife and young children at home, what are they going to do without him? And these 3 little girls from China, I mean they came from a place where they were abandoned, and then they knew real love of a happy family, 2 loving parents and safety and now their dad has been ripped from their lives, forever. I know God has a plan, but it seems so un-real, so cold, so un-fair...like a scene from a horror movie or something. It is so hard to have your faith tested in this way. We just have to pull together as a family and get through this together, but it is not gonna be easy!
He started with a cough 4 days ago, couldn't get rid of it and went to the doctor, they told him he had bronchitis and put him on antibiotics. The next day he was feeling a little worse and called the dr and they said oh you probably have the flu too. So the next day came, he was feeling worse and the took him to the ER, they said oh, you have a touch of pnuemonia. So they hospitalized him and he just kept going down hill and then within 24 hrs had passed away. Now they are saying he had a bacterieal infection. I can't hardly believe it. What are these diseases going around and what is the deal? This is a guy who got up early every morning to run 5 miles before work, he had a workout room in his basement that he used often and had a membership to the gym that he visited at least 3 times a week, he ate healthy and was such a happy person, how could someone like him die so suddenly, I mean his body should have been healthy enough to fight it off. And he has a wife and young children at home, what are they going to do without him? And these 3 little girls from China, I mean they came from a place where they were abandoned, and then they knew real love of a happy family, 2 loving parents and safety and now their dad has been ripped from their lives, forever. I know God has a plan, but it seems so un-real, so cold, so un-fair...like a scene from a horror movie or something. It is so hard to have your faith tested in this way. We just have to pull together as a family and get through this together, but it is not gonna be easy!
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