confession #2

Okay, so my next confession isn't so long. I am PETRIFIED of spiders, when I see one I freeze, cold chills start to run up and down my entire body. My heart starts to race, I just have chills. I have no idea why, but the older I get the worse it seems to get, and it doesn't matter the size, shape or kind. It just seems so wrong for anything to have that many legs. And with summer here I have of course been out in the garden working and I have to say we have more spiders than anyone I know. It was worse when we had the pool up though, we had these water spiders that would multiply by it seemed like the thousands, seriously, they were EVERYWHERE! Hubby would make fun of me because I would go out with a can of raid and spray the outsides of the pool, deck and grass around it. I couldn't help it, I hate spiders. Then I have a dear friend that occasionally likes to remind me that it is said that everyone swallows so many spiders a year in their sleep, I mean, UUGGHHH!!! Could you imagine if that were true? It is NOT true, of course, it simply can NOT be!!!! Then there is the story of the lady that had constant ear trouble and then they found out a spider had crawled inside and laid eggs and she had all these spider babies....I can't finish that thought, I can't even stand the thought! Or like the time I was visiting my sister at college and a guy from the bug department had a terantula and thought it would be fun to chase me with it. I screamed...LOUDLY...and ran my heart out, I didn't care who saw or what they thought. I hate being afraid of them, I hate how the fear can sometimes even stop my life, like if I want to go outside and there is one of those black fuzzy jumping spiders on the door, I just won't go outside until it is gone, but just because I can't see it doesn't mean it isn't hiding somewhere so when I do go out, I run through the doorand slam it behind me in hopes of making it fall from it's hiding place and dying on the cement. (I don't really know if that would kill it or not, but it's a nice thought) How do I be brave? The only time I can be is if there is one in the house I am petrified it will get Lexie and I get brave enough to kill it, (then I hyperventilate) and of course get the cold chills and so on, then I leave it lay there until hubby comes home from work so he can remove the body. but I saved my baby, how brave am I? :)